Things to Know Before You Get Engaged for a Successful Marriage
Long before you even think about getting engaged, there are things that you need to know about your partner. It’s important to date for a while to determine if this person is the right one to marry.
Money problems, family problems, trust issues, and other major issues can arise when you begin planning your wedding day.
Here are some tips on how long to date before getting engaged.
How Long Do People Date Before Getting Married?
The average couple has a dating time for over two years according to The Knot. If you wait for half that time, chances are you don’t really know the person well enough and the couple’s relationship satisfaction may still be in the “puppy love” stage.
Nowadays it seems that the longer people wait between dating and getting married, the better chance they have of staying together in the end. The average ages for marriage have increased significantly over history. Also, if you wait until you are 30 or older, your chances of a successful marriage almost double.
Things To Know Before You Get Married
There are some things that you need to know about your partner before you get engaged. If they have a history of cheating, this might be a bad sign. It’s also important to consider if your partner has ever been married and what happened in the relationship. If you’re not ready for marriage or just don’t think that they’re “the one,” then it may be best to move on and find someone else who is more compatible with you.
It’s important to make sure that both people in the relationship can afford to get married before getting engaged. For example, if one person makes significantly more money than the other one does, there could be trouble ahead.
You should talk about each other’s financial situations before you get married.
It’s also important to make sure that your partner is willing to help pay the bills. If they are unwilling or unable to help, then this may be a sign that they’re not ready for marriage.
Make sure you’re on the same page about finances.
A person’s family or a specific family member can have a big impact on their lives and even on their relationships with others. If your spouse-to-be has chaotic parents who are always fighting or if they have siblings who are constantly in trouble with the law, this could be a warning sign of things to come in your own marriage. If their parents are poor or ill, are you prepared to take them in and take care of them financially? You need to discuss this.
You need to know if your future husband or wife has any issues with their family because it could ruin the relationship later on down the road.
You also need to make sure that you can handle the in-laws if they are difficult. You know what they say: when you marry your spouse, you also marry their family.
Trust is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If your future husband or wife has ever cheated on someone else in the past, this could be an indication that they will do it again.
You should also consider how much trust they have when it comes to you. It’s important that they feel like you’re always there for them and never try to hurt them.
Find out what each other’s dealbreakers are before you get married. Does it turn you off if he’s following Instagram Models or is it a non-issue? Laying it all out on the table is the BEST WAY to prevent any conflict or build-up.
Other Major Problems
Even if all of these things seem fine with your partner, there’s always a chance that something may come up later down the line. They could develop a substance abuse problem or get arrested. You need to be aware of these sorts of things from the beginning so that you’re not blindsided later on.
If you notice that they’re acting strangely or having problems with money, it may be a good idea to find out what is going on before getting married.
For many couples, one of the most important skills they learn during their dating life is how to compromise.
Couples should have a minimum of three areas in which they can compromise—”major areas,” such as where to live and whether to have children, “secondary,” not quite so important issues that still need attention and “tertiary” disagreements—such as when to take out the garbage—on which people do not necessarily need agree.
This suggests that even if you disagree on something, it is important to find a way to come together.
Another skill people learn while they are dating is how to be comfortable with being committed to someone else. People who are uncomfortable committing might have had past experiences in which their attempts at commitment were unsuccessful. There is hardly any bigger commitment than marriage.
Or, some people may just not want the pressure of always having another person around yet because they still feel like they need time to themselves.
If you follow these tips, the chances of having a happy marriage are much greater than if you don’t. Try not to get engaged too quickly because this may lead to breaking up later on down the road.
If you do decide to get married after dating for a period of time, make sure that the things mentioned above are all in check beforehand so that there’s no trouble ahead. Things like this can ruin your entire life and end up costing you hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Should I get relationship counseling?
Probably. It’s up to you, but sometimes getting a mediator involved can help you see eye to eye. Many married couples go into relationship counseling for different reasons.
If you are having problems within your relationship, it is important that you go to counseling even if you are not married. Getting some one-on-one time with a professional can help resolve these issues. For example, if your partner is not willing to get counseling, but you are ready for it, this could be a sign of unwillingness to compromise.
Having an impartial party listen to both of your points of view and come up with a solution without any bias can make all the difference in saving your marriage or not.
You will definitely need more than just marriage counseling to resolve some of the problems that people face on a regular basis.
It’s also important to remember that getting married doesn’t erase past problems. Just because you were dating for eighteen months or twenty-five months before you chose to get married, doesn’t;t mean these issues won’t come back up. They probably will.
You may want to be open about your past so they can better understand why you act certain ways in your relationship. This can help them come up with solutions that are more effective and tailored specifically towards your needs.
For example, if you have had trust issues in the past due to something one of your exes did, then it’s possible that this could carry over into your current relationship. When things like this happen, they need to know about it so they can make sure to prove you wrong.
It’s important to date a person for a while before you get married.
While it’s not always best to marry someone right away, there are some people who just click really well together. There is no magic number for how long you should date. Start talking about it with your partner; if you aren’t comfortable discussing it, you aren’t ready!
The average time couples date is at least two years, and if your time frame is just a few months, you’re probably not giving each other enough time and are definitely engaged quickly, more quickly than you should be. Most couples date two to three years to get to know each other.
Something else to consider is talking to a family therapist or marriage counselor before you get married. Even if you don’t have problems (which we all do!), it can be helpful if only you and your partner get counseling separately or together.
And when you’re ready to get engaged, find a wedding planner to help you find an engagement photographer, venue, and so much more!
Need some help telling your partner how much you love them? Check out our previous post: 50+ Reasons I Love You